Topics: Friendship, Lion's Roar - May '16, Love & Relationships, Norman Fischer, Sangha / Community, Teachings, Zen, We’re glad to have you here. It is through this line of reasoning that one may know how having admirable friendship, admirable companionship, admirable camaraderie is actually the whole of the holy life." Like reading spiritual books. This is the second talk in a four part series on Spiritual Friendship given at the San Francisco Buddhist Center. March 20 and 21, 9am to 12 noon. I feel that ordinary friendship is good, as far as it goes. Once the Buddha’s disciple Ananda asked him about friendship. People new to Buddhism often take the Dharma to be a purely individual path of spiritual development. In other words, friendship is the most important element in the spiritual path. “At one time the Buddha was living among the Sakyans. I can receive a true friend’s criticism with loving-kindness because it comes from a loving heart seeking only my benefit and well- It is boundless, empty, open, and free. He described 4 different types of friends we meet and should seek: the helper, the friend who endures in good times and bad, the mentor, and the compassionate friend. They are for one another even more than a person can be for themself. Buddhism, he argues is best ‘caught’ not taught. You will treat them with full respect and affectionate regard, and they will treat you the same way. Life in a sangha is built on teaching, dedicated meditation practice, and a shared commitment to going beyond self-interest and personal need. Search Options Audio Text. In the Mahayana Buddhist teachings, the bodhisattva clearly sees that no one can be happy or content while others are suffering. In ordinary friendships we might connect right away, with lots to share and learn from one another. You can trust your friends to look after your interests more than you can trust yourself, he writes. Spiritual friendship is the whole of the spiritual life - The Buddha. Then, for Meghiya’s further benefit, and to the cement the point, the Buddha goes through the list again, this time preceding each of the other items with the first: “When there is a lovely intimacy between friends, then there is virtuous conduct,” et cetera. Admirable friendship, admirable companionship, admirable camaraderie is actually the whole of the holy life. Interestingly, Buddha also gave advice for different types of people that we meet in life. Kindness, respect and shared joy in Dharma are the stuff these friendships are made of. This is the only Buddhist story I am aware of in which sixteen people realized awakening together, as good spiritual friends. and what is meant by "spiritual"? Buddhism is a spiritual tradition that focuses on personal spiritual. Buddhism and Friendship offers practical ways for us to cultivate, deepen and extend our friendships, so that they can inspire and shape our spiritual lives. Self and other are not two truly different existing entities. “Five things induce release of heart and lasting peace,” the Buddha told him. The Buddha made the importance of such relationships very clear. Sangha friendships. These days we talk a lot about “relationships.” The word usually suggests romantic relationship, but we might also mean our connections with parents, children, siblings, and colleagues. Spiritual Friendship | The Buddhist Centre. He took the opportunity to give Meghiya what he must have hoped was a relevant teaching. Then we can enter more into the place of listening, of forgiving, of letting go of the past and just being open to the present. In his essay, Montaigne argues that deep friendship is necessarily exclusive—it is only possible, he says, to have one such dear friend—and that exclusivity is its essence. We notice this, hope that it will change, and work to make it happen. Using stories, personal anecdotes and images she introduces the overall theme to prepare for more talks in this series, which focusses on the tantric rites and friendship. According to Alexander Berzin, “the Tibetan term tenpa (bsten-pa) sums up a healthy relationship with a spiritual mentor. Buddhism and Friendship, Subhuti, 2004. We open ourselves to the other person, ready to notice any grudges that we have, or the opinions and obsessions we have about them, as well as the attractions towards them. “First, a lovely intimacy with good friends. Recorded at the Swedish Summer Retreat at Dharmagiri, July 2019. Spiritual friendship, intimacy and partnership are all of the holy life. There’s joy in it. In what way is spiritual friendship the whole of spiritual life? “No, Ananda,” the Buddha told him, “having good friends isn’t half of the Holy Life. How does it support our spiritual growth? And over time in community life we come to have such inspiring friendships with others who support and love us in the same way. I enjoy getting to know people in intimate conversation. At the moment I am reading a book called 'After the ecstasy, the laundry' by Jack Kornfield. This teaching has many practical consequences within the Triratna Buddhist Community. Montaigne’s essay is all the more poignant because in it he tells us that he is not merely theorizing. There he or she is—your father or sister, childhood nemesis, or ancient school or workplace enemy—sitting right across from you in the meditation hall. Ananda asked the Buddha whether having noble friends and companions wasn’t… He was especially interested in the friendships we make, because those form our environment and influence us. And we do care about one another. Sangha … This is the nature of spiritual friendship. :) Pins about Spiritual Friendship & The Third Jewel with the goal of learning how to help one another in our Practice and our lives. Second, virtuous conduct. … being. In big Chan monasteries of China, there were no private bathrooms. Together we go forth to do what needs to be done. Third, frequent conversation that inspires and encourages practice. See more ideas about buddhism, buddhist, bhikkhu. *** Help keep FBA free for everyone! We bathe silently and then put on our robes for service. Four groups of Buddhist disciples Buddhist monks … Ananda went to the Blessed One and, on arrival, having bowed down to the Blessed One, sat to one side. In his essay on friendship, sixteenth-century French writer Michel de Montaigne compares friendship to all other human relationship and finds it superior. Through friendship we have the opportunity to develop the virtues of generosity, compassion, patience and forgiveness. As you ripen and age, you appreciate the nobility and uniqueness of each friend, the twists and turns of each life, and the gift each has given you. E-mail: html_serena10@hotmail.com: Name: Rick Location: England, U.K. Spiritual friendship (not just including friendship between peers) is also vital to Buddhism socially or collectively because it creates the Sangha. What I call horizontal spiritual friendship is friendship between people who are at roughly the same level in following the path; this is the friendship between “partners” in following the path, and what unites them as spiritual friends is a common dedication to following the Buddhist path. When a monk has admirable people as friends, companions, & comrades, he can be expected to develop & pursue the noble eightfold path. This is completely obvious to the bodhisattvas. It tells the story of the eager young monk Meghiya, who wanted to practice meditation alone in an especially peaceful and beautiful mango grove. To this day, Buddhism retains this emphasis on equality and inclusion. In what way is spiritual friendship the whole of spiritual life? But I believe it was what the Buddha had in mind when he taught that there is no element of the path more precious or more important than spiritual friendship. To his shock, he found his mind a snarl of malicious, lustful, and confused thoughts—probably because his practice was too self-involved. Inspired designs on t-shirts, posters, stickers, home decor, and more by independent artists and designers from around the world. There is also a recurring thread of the Seven Sisters—seven of the Buddha’s foremost women disciples whose life stories of spiritual companionship span eons. This is a West Coast Sangha Retreat for Seattle, Vancouver, But in the meantime, we slowly get to know one another intimately in the silent space of the meditation hall. Maybe we never do. And you know they will last a lifetime, even if you live continents apart. For those on the bodhisattva path, loving and appreciating your friends, even when they are difficult, as they sometimes are, is the path’s fullness and completion. He is writing in testimony and memorial to the most cherished friendship of his own life—his relationship with the writer Estienne de la Boetie, whose death has left him “feeling like half a person.”. In this manner, Buddhism points out the basic ingredients to foster a healthy friendship, minimize friction and displeasure, promote good-will, and companionship and ultimately bring about one’s welfare here, and spiritual progress leading to the realization of the Supreme Bliss of Nirvana. Ajahn talks about how Kalyanamitta means something much more profound than a good friend, it is someone who supports you in your spiritual life in all sorts of ways. We still practice like this at Tassajara Zen Mountain Monastery. Our community is dedicated to supporting the development of spiritual friendship among those who wish to experience the benefits of Buddhist practice and meditation and believe that it can make a constructive contribution to the modern world. Spiritual friendship is a training in unselfishness, in egolessness. Seeking: Would like to meet people into meditation and the Buddhist way of life. Having good friends is the whole of the Holy Life.”. Published in The Tibetan Dhammapada. Don't say that. See Faithfulness. 39 Malcolm Place Campbellfield Victoria 3061 Australia [Phone: +61 3 9357 7266 Email: email@samadhivihara.org.au Sign up for Lion’s Roar free email newsletters. Siblings usually fight with one another. Friendships Not associating with fools, Associating with the wise, Honoring those worthy of honor; This is the greatest blessing. Community and friendship is all the more important as western society becomes increasingly fragmented – with so many people living isolated from one another, whether in ‘nuclear’ families, or as individuals living alone. [Ud: 25.5.–6; P992: 98.3.3.–7.] Our intimacy was one in which others were always welcome. It conjures the picture of a devoted servant or a devotee of a god or a cult. A two day retreat on zoom, with Amaragita. I appreciate the truth and beauty of this teaching more and more as the years go by. We can depend on them to support us in hard times. You speak to them kindly and affectionately, and show concern for their welfare, especially their spiritual welfare. He believes that our relationships with teachers and fellow practitioners must be characterised by honesty and clear communication. :). I cannot recommend this classic textbook on the history of Buddhism highly enough. The Buddha turned to Ananda, rebuking him mildly with the words, “Don’t say that, Ananda. We [...], © 2020 Lion's Roar | Email: [email protected] | Tel: 902.422.8404 | Published by Lion's Roar Foundation, Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window), Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window), Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window), Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window). Often the most unlikely people show up in Buddhist communities, people who under ordinary circumstances would never meet and spend weeks, maybe years, together. Clear communication content while others are suffering straight to your own devices about the practice of spiritual life - Buddha! Newsstand sales to support our work — both of which have dropped precipitously this year:.. All orders are custom made and most ship worldwide within 24 hours learn from for themself energy! 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