Submit your question to TheRelationshipDoctor@gmail.com. Peter was writing to women who had become Christians after marriage, but whose husbands were not yet believers. If he tries to scare her into giving up her faith, she must not go along with him. He was also devoted to his job more than to his family. 5:33), but because Peter’s uses of “fear” in the preceding context refer to reverence toward God (2:17, 18), I take it that way here. How does being slothful ever glorify God? They will notice attractive behavior and through it be drawn to the source of that behavior—a relationship with Jesus Christ. While a lazy … Dr. David Hawkins is the director of the Marriage Recovery Center where he counsels couples in distress. What happened when you made the decision to stop over-functioning and do your part to create a mutually responsible marriage? Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Consider her ways and be wise” (Proverbs 6:6). He said, “I may be sitting on the outside, but I’m standing on the inside.” That’s defiance, not submission. But we can’t throw out the submission of wives to husbands so easily. These verses are tough to explain and apply in light of our modern culture. His responsibilities are to love his wife sacrificially (Eph. Paul recognizes a sense in Christian marriage in which each partner submits to the other under Christ, but he also goes on to state that the husband is the head of the wife, just as Christ is the head of the church. When you set a boundary, will you back it up? The Bible directly, expressly, and clearly tells wives they are to respect their husbands but let’s keep it real. Next week I’ll hit the husbands, but today I ask each wife, even if your husband is a believer, to take a look at your behavior in this spiritual mirror and ask, “Is it attractive? Preachers are probably safe until they speak on a text which tells wives to submit to disobedient husbands! Proverbs 13:4 - The soul of the sluggard desireth, and [hath] nothing: but the soul of the diligent … Love. You can marry a beautiful woman, but beauty doesn’t make a virtuous woman. Peter’s point is that godly conduct is a powerful witness, much more powerful than words without conduct. He said, “I may be sitting on the outside, but I’m standing on the inside.” That’s defiance, not submission. Dr. David Hawkins, director of the Marriage Recovery Center, will address questions from Crosswalk readers in his weekly column. 156.) Not unreasonably, they … The husband is just a representation of Christ’s leadership, no … Photo credit: Unsplash/Aaron Burden. So then, dear brothers and sisters, be firm. The lazy or apathetic spouse makes every request seem like a big deal and their areas of neglect seem normal. 3:7). Not once is there a command to husbands to get their wives into submission. The clearest picture of a Christian husband is presented in Ephesians 5:15–33. Your husband must turn his attention away from himself and his selfish pursuits to that of the marriage. Copyright 1992, Steven J. Cole, All Rights Reserved. They proceeded to tell me how unbearable her home life was. Does it make my husband want to follow my Lord Jesus Christ?”. A Dismissive Woman. She is not out to prove anything, because she is secure in who she is in the Lord. To live in the fear of God means that we recognize His holiness and wrath against all sin and therefore live obediently, even when it’s hard. Divorce is allowed only in cases of adultery. Nowhere in scripture does God sanction any kind of abuse. Proverbs 21:25–26 25 The desire of the sluggard kills him, for his hands refuse to labor. Forbearing means that a wife says, "OK, this may never change in my husband. 1. Her husband, Ahasuerus, King of Persia, wasn’t guilty of any personal animosity towards God’s people, but he was dangerously misled by the wicked nobleman Haman. Being a Good Parent. There is absolutely no escape from this one! I encourage you to take a tough stand, make firm agreements and then hold one another accountable for those agreements. A wife who does not submit to her husband is not in submission to Christ. Because her ex-husband is remarried, Mary Ann can’t remedy this … It’s tough enough to teach about the submission of wives to godly husbands. You must obey what God has told you to do and let Him take care of your partner. Being a Good Steward. Rather, the believing wife should follow the principles Peter sets forth here, namely, that ... A Christian wife should live with a difficult husband so that he is attracted to Christ by her behavior. He will yell louder, then you yell louder yet, and if things get out of hand, he may lose control and say all sorts of nasty things that he wouldn’t say when he’s more rational or he may even hit you. 10 False Versions of Jesus People Are Falling For, 3 Reasons the 'Christmas Star' of 2020 Is Bringing So Much Hope, 10 Signs Your Marriage Is Built on Christ, Christmas Light Show Set To 'Mary Did You Know', Violinist Lindsey Stirling Performs 'Carol Of The Bells', Family Bluegrass Bands Sings 'I Know Who Holds Tomorrow', Lost Your Christmas Spirit? Nowhere does it say in the bible to listen to and be obedient to your husband no matter what, even if they’re wrong, and what they say goes against God. The biblical pattern is for the wife to yield control to the husband and to do all she can to please him and make him prosper. She is at peace with herself in the Lord. He is a weekly guest on Moody Radio and Faith Radio and is a best-selling author of over thirty books. How can I get my husband to take more responsibility in our home? He is the author of over 30 books, including Dealing With the CrazyMakers in Your Life, 90 Days to a Fantastic Marriage, and When Pleasing Others is Hurting You. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to … Proverbs is especially filled with wisdom concerning laziness and warnings to the lazy person. But to teach that wives should submit even to husbands who are ungodly seems cruel and insensitive. Peter says that the disobedient husbands may be won without a word as they observe (not, “hear about”) the pure and reverent behavior of their wives. Submission to one’s difficult husband is not usually one of the action points! Do not be moved! 2. However, the principles underlying the teaching of the husband of one wife qualification can simplify the understanding of the meaning. While some Christians have wrongly used these Bible verses as an excuse for husbands to mistreat their wives, the verses actually communicate the vast responsibility a husband has to care for his wife and the wife’s duty to honor her husband. Nothing will drive a man further from the Lord than a nagging wife. Your note indicates a severe problem with immaturity on his part, which suggests a character issue as opposed to a temporary, situational problem. Notice that just as the wife should submit to Christ, that is how she is to submit to her husband. Rather, submission is the attitude and action of willingly yielding to and obeying the authority of another to please the Lord. So, would we say it is ok for a man’s wife to have virtual sex through a web cam or phone with another man because the Bible does not address this specific situation? When you tell him that he must carry his … Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. Forbearing means that a … The Bible says “For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church” (Ephesians 5:23) and Christ tells us regarding his churches that “As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent.” (Revelation 3:19). This site is a proud member of the Salem Web Network, a subsidiary of, Copyright © 2020, Crosswalk.com. Otherwise, her behavior would be different. Third, you must guard against what Harriet Lerner calls an “overfunctioner.” You may have chosen to be with someone who under-functions in part because of this tendency on your part. 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